Choosing baby names is serious and complicated shit. It's so serious this is the second post I've made about it (and probably only the second of many). I've been reading many books and articles about choosing the right name and there is so much to consider:
Kids with common names perform better in school
If the child will have a short, one syllable last name you should choose a multi-syllabicate first name so it flows better
Consider potential nicknames that might spring from your name choice (Richard will almost assuredly be called Dick which will confuse everyone as to whether it is being used as his name or an adjective).
Make sure the child's initials won't spell anything unfortunate like ASS, DIK, FAG or GAY
Picking a name that won't get your child beaten up at recess (do they even have recess anymore?)
Not picking a name that will result in any unfortunate rhymes when singing The Name Game ( Chuck, Chuck, bo-buck. Banana-fana, fo ...)
Don't pick a name that will take you fifteen minutes to say when you reach "Full Name Anger" (Willamina Guinevere Rodriguez-Christenson, you stop that RIGHT NOW!)
It's all very stressful when you consider you're branding your child before they can speak for themselves. You can tell them "A rose by any other name would smell just as sweet," but if you truly feel the need to saddle your kid with something people need to rip out their tongue to pronounce correctly or sounds like a character out of The Crucible just make sure you don't teach them how to use an AK-47 or point out the local water tower every time you drive by.
Two things: First, kids are going to tease about names no matter what you select. My son's name (according to his school records... he actually has a fancy pedigree name, but I love him and didn't send him to school with it) is Corey Parker. "Apple Core Born in a Park" tormented him during third grade. Tormented.
ReplyDeleteSecond, his initials are CPP. I did not think anything could come of that. Again, you have to think like an obnoxious little kid. "See PeePee" is not so great, as he reminded us strenuously when we were choosing names for his baby sisters.