We're having a baby. Wow. The idea is starting to settle in a little bit more now. That little bit of denial I felt is fading. Susana has an appointment tomorrow with her OB/GYN. I don't know what it's going to be like. The day started with me realizing my gut is telling me it'll be a boy. After the usual politically correct posturing of wanting a "healthy baby," we've admitted Susana wants a boy and I want a girl, but we know it doesn't really matter. Still, for someone who has had actually dreams with daughters in them it was a bit of a surprise to be so convinced it'll be a boy. Hmmm.
Susana tested again this evening with one of the cheap Dollar Tree store HPTs we picked up (to which I've already noted my prophetic statement at the time that purchasing more than one guaranteed Susana's pregnancy) -- yup, still pregnant. It was cute how she slinked out of the master bathroom and quietly said "I tested again." Still a great many thoughts running through my mind. Then I remember I started school this week and I have a mini "Oh fuck" moment. For a planner, such as myself, it's very difficult to keep the nearly-uncontrollable urge to plan under control. Mostly I'm just reading. A lot. I now know what it looks like, how big it is, that Susana may have nausea and headaches (whoops, too late) and that I "may be feeling some conflicting and varying emotions" (no shit, Sherlock). The information is comforting in a strange way. It makes me feel like I'm being active and supportive while at the same time giving my anal ass something to do for the next nine months so it doesn't distract my school work. Did I just say "anal ass?"
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