Saturday, July 9, 2011

July 9th

Babies are expensive.  They're like pooping little debit cards sucking funds from your bank account.  It starts before they're even conceived (if you're trying to have a baby, that is) and I'm not sure it ever ends considering the phenomenon of teenagers' cars not moving unless you have money for gas.

The websites lure you in with pictures of sweet babies (how they keep getting pictures of my beautiful baby-to-be is beyond me) and the words SAVINGS and ESSENTIAL in a huge, inviting font.  Looking over the various purchases we will have to deal with I find the more I read the more everything turns into a blur.  It's like I'm reading a transcript of Charlie Brown's teacher with a big, bold number on the end mocking me.  When we walk around the baby section I hear "CA-CHING!" followed by the sound of a vacuum (although that could just be the vacuum center next door).  The financial aspect of parenthood is a scary prospect.  I'm pretty sure every time a baby is born Wal-Mart throws a little party.

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